I struggled to find a title for this blog at first…..why-hate-it-change-it

How could I break it to people that it will NEVER be easy…..

Everyday I have the same struggles most other people get:

  • Low confidence
  • Lack of self-belief
  • Control over my eating
  • Self-doubt
  • Fear
  • Limiting beliefs
  • Relationship issues
  • Too sensitive

It’s all there. I get them all the same as everyone else. But these days I relish these challenges because I have enhanced my tool box!

Why?

How?

Well the difference between the old me and the new me is that I have learned that theses feelings will always be there in the back ground.  I have learned that my inner voice and my inner critic will always try to shout over my inner child and my heart’s desires:

“No way can you do that, you are not good enough”

“No one will believe you anyway”

“Why should anyone listen to you”

“You are too fat to wear that dress”

“People are right you will never  amount to nothing”

So I have learned and am learning everyday how best to silence or at least ignore the voice, the inner critic, the part of my mind programmed to sabotage. The part of my mind that thinks it knows it all……..

False Evidence Appearing Real

Yep FEAR is the same. Self-doubt is the same. Paralysis by analysis. We blow so much out of proportion by our own imagination and make up stuff in our heads…..and then believe it!! Without validation. Or we look to validate it!

But just because we can hear it, it doesn’t mean it’s true or that we have to listen. So much of what we say to ourselves is way out of context and made up in our own heads.

Most people travel through life with a civil war going on in their heads:

On way home from work the inner dialogue goes something like this……

You: ‘I must get to the gym tonight…. not been all week’

Inner Voice: ‘Nah…You had a tough day and you are waaaaaay too tired today…’

You: ‘But I really should…. I have eaten too much today’

Inner voice: ‘Yeah but there is always tomorrow……?’

You: ‘True….. OK I will go tomorrow. PROMISE!’

Inner voice: ‘yeah have a pizza tonight, glass of wine and you can burn it all off tomorrow!’

Later that night:

Inner voice: ‘You really are a fat, lazy good for nothing. No wonder you are fat….’

You: ‘OMG I am so weak…..I give up….. ‘

When you stop and think about it. How often does this type of inner dialogue occur?

The trick is to catch yourself. Become aware of your inner voice. THEN…… stop it in it’s tracks. A friend of mine calls her’s ‘the bitch’

When she is AWARE that she is caught up in her program of sabotage she will say ‘shut up bitch!’ 

Notice I said AWARE. You can only catch yourself when you are AWARE and MINDFUL you are listening to inner voice.  Too often we are completely unaware of it going on!! But it’s happening ALL the time!

With practice you can catch yourself more and more. ‘Shut up bitch!‘ and before long you can choose to create a new reality. A better one. A happier one!

NO MORE being led by lies and the crock of shit we tell ourselves everyday. NO MORE being powerless to these thoughts that create BAD FEELINGS. NO MORE will your actions be led by the BAD FEELINGS created by the BAD THOUGHTS that eventually lead to SABOTAGE that poison our soul and potential to live the life of your dreams!

What are you going to tell your inner voice to do when it interrupts your awesomeness?

Big love, small tummies

Jill – The Fat Controller

p.s this blog was inspired by Richard Wilkins, Anthony Wade and Eillien Gallagher (my lovely friend). Thanks guys!

 

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