It’s very hard to cultivate a happy and healthy life when all your hear and listen to is the negative voices in your head.

Negative thoughts create a cascade of unsupportive brain chemicals and hormones leaving you feeling fearful and in doubt. We have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts day and around 80% are said to be negative and repetitive. That’s a lot of negative thoughts!

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Imagine if you believed every word you heard?

No wonder so many people struggle finding happiness and fulfilment.

No wonder so many people feel tired when they are in constant battle with negative thoughts and feelings. They are literally being drained of life!

So how do you quieten the negative voice inside your head?

I have to practice this everyday. The negative voices are always there. Morning, noon and night:

  • You are getting too old for this.
  • You aren’t slim enough.
  • You aren’t clever enough.
  • What have you got to say that people want to listen too?
  • Why would he love or want you?
  • Others are much better at this than you.

Until I realised that I didn’t have to listen anymore, I was prisoner to my thoughts. I lived my life feeling like a fraud, a nobody, a failure.

Imagine the feeling of the weight lifting from my shoulders when I learned that the voice wasn’t me! The voice was made up based on fear and doubt. And I could choose to ignore and question it or I could listen and believe and continue to feel sad, frustrated and stuck.

What I really wanted to do was challenge the thoughts and replace them with supportive words of encouragement, love and gratitude:

  • If he didn’t love me he wouldn’t be here still. The more I give love, the more I receive.
  • I might feel fatter today but it doesn’t mean I am fat or a bad person. I have the power to change.
  • I have so much to offer. I understand peoples pain and can reach and help people like me like no one else can.
  • There will always be people cleverer, slimmer and more successful than me but I am doing more than I ever dreamed I could.
  • Everyday isn’t perfect and that’s OK. I make mistakes and I can learn from them.
  • I may have grey hair and wrinkles but at least I have hair and a working body to live in!
  • I know enough to make a difference. I have made a difference to many lives already!

The first step is to recognise or ‘catch’ yourself when the negative voice pipes up. Only when you are aware can you start to take steps to ‘choose’ to ignore the voice or question it.

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You won’t ever stop the negative voices. I know because I have tried. All it did was wear myself out and make them sound louder. Instead, I developed a way of letting the voices have their say but I chose to ignore the words or question their relevance.

Remember that your perspective is what you choose to see. If you choose to see the negatives…. you will see the negatives.

Your brain has an amazing way of finding ways to prove you right. And so if you listen to the negative words you will seek proof that your are right.

So instead, seek proof why these words are incorrect. It takes at least 21 days to create a new habit. Thoughts are habits and programmes. Here are some tools and tips to help you shape your thoughts to enable you to live more freely and experience love, joy and happiness:

  • Keep a gratitude journal. Start and end each day with thoughts and feelings that fill you with love. It could be things, people, experiences and thoughts.
  • Set your phone alarm to go off at regular intervals during the day to remind you to think of the positives so far that day.
  • Challenge yourself to avoid reading a newspaper and only post positive tweets and Facebook statuses for at least 21 days and see what happens.
  • Give compliments to your co-workers, family and friends everyday.
  • Each time you look in the mirror, smile and acknowledge your best features (ask a friend or loved one to tell you what they are if you can’t see them).
  • Give love to everyone you see and meet. Be it a smile, compliment, hug, friendship, compassion. Even people that have upset you.
  • Exercise can lift your endorphins and take your mind on a break. Pop on some music and take a walk, gym class or go dancing!
  • Daily meditation can work wonders. You can’t think negative thoughts with a quiet still mind! Even just a few minutes can help. (I recommend Andrew Johnson’s Apps)
  • Surround yourself with naturally positive and happy people. You are the sum total of the people you spend the most time with!

Just because the voices are there, it doesn’t mean they are right or true. It doesn’t mean that you have to listen or believe them. With practice everyday you will strengthen your mind and ability to choose the path of love, happiness and fulfilment!

Big love, small tummies!

Jill – The Fat Controller

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